I’ve spoken before about the moments when, after you get your ADHD diagnosis, you start to wonder what life could have been like if you didn’t have ADHD – or at least known about having ADHD. Those moments definitely pass, as you make peace with the diagnosis and understand there’s so much more to you than just the way your brain is wired.
But then there are times when not having ADHD would have been a definite advantage.
This week I’m looking at the #ADHDTax. And I’m going into a slightly more uptight, serious mode with this one, because I know exactly what it feels like to be utterly, hopelessly out of control with my finances. And the shame and self loathing that comes with it. I know what it’s like to run up thousands of pounds worth of credit card debt because I’d spend like there was no tomorrow, putting the consequences in the ‘fuck it bucket’ (see last weeks newsletter for full, scientific explanation) and then having to ask for help when said consequences reappeared. I have vivid memories of standing at cash points, gingerly entering my pin and hoping and praying it wasn’t one of those banks that shows you your account balance before you could make a withdrawal. I didn’t want to see my account balance because then I would have to face up to the reality of the situation – whereas if I could just take out a fiver, I’d be set for a few more days of blissful ignorance.
So, sure – finding out I had ADHD and was definitely not alone in mis-managing my finances was validating, but not entirely helpful. I was still dealing with a significant sense of shame: something that research shows is not an isolated experience:
- 65% of ADHD adults struggled with finances compared to 37% of non-ADHDers
- 76% of ADHD adults reported significant money anxiety, vs 38% of non-ADHDers
- 31% of ADHD adults signalled having significant debt, vs 11% of non-ADHDers
So all in all – the situation fucking sucks. And it shows up in lots of ways you might not have even considered:
Late fees / Penalties: The ‘Classic’ ADHD tax trap. Not paying your bills on time, not submitting a tax return when you’re supposed to, owing libraries and Blockbuster video a significant amount of money for not returning rentals…
Forgotten subscriptions: Let those who have never signed up for a free trial only to discover a £5.99 per month subscription has been deducted from their account for the past 2 years throw the first stone.
Impulse buying: You can get a huge dopamine hit from ordering a little something for yourself and having it delivered the very next day! All brilliant, until you realise that the dopamine hit lasts around 2 hours and then you need another cheeky little purchase to make you feel alive again.
Missed opportunities to save, get discounts, apply for benefits: all things that we could do, but often don’t.
Not to mention unstable employment, living and relationships: A Swedish study followed 3.4 million adults over 14 years and showed adults with ADHD had increased rates of job switching, residential moves and relationship instability.
What’s Changing
Here’s the part that’s actually starting to shift, slowly, and not nearly fast enough: the system is finally being forced to admit this isn’t a willpower problem.
Banks like Monzo have started building actual product features around it. Real-time balance notifications, automatic savings Pots, bill reminders that fire before the due date instead of on it. Not because they’ve suddenly become charitable, but because the same YouGov research behind the stats above showed nearly 8 in 10 ADHD adults found those features genuinely helpful. It’s a start.
But the bigger shift is in how this connects to everything else I’ve been banging on about this month. The Swedish study I mentioned above, 3.4 million adults tracked over 14 years, didn’t just find higher rates of job switching. It found the instability got WORSE with age, not better. Not “grow out of it by your thirties.” Worse into your forties, fifties and beyond.
Money anxiety doesn’t clock off when you walk into the office. It shows up as a distraction in a 9am meeting, as the mental energy spent on avoiding a bill you’re dreading instead of the task in front of you, as the reason you’re not sleeping properly. This is exactly why the workplace training conversation I’ve been having all month matters here too. A manager who understands that a struggling employee might also be quietly drowning in debt and shame is a manager who has the capacity to respond with support instead of punitive punishments.
The awareness is growing. The tools are (slowly) getting better. What hasn’t caught up yet is the shame. And shame is the bit that is significantly problematic.
What You Can Do About It
If you’re the one afraid to check your banking app balance:
Stop trying to fix this with willpower. You’ve probably already tried that, for years, and beaten yourself up every time it didn’t work. It was never going to work, because this was never a discipline problem.
Fix it with systems instead:
Automate everything you possibly can. Bills, savings, transfers. Every decision point you remove is one less opportunity to put things in the ‘Fuck it bucket’.
Set reminders three days early, not on the due date. Time blindness means “due today” and “due in an hour” feel the same. Build the buffer in.
Do your money admin in your best hours, not whatever slot is left over at 11pm. A tax return during a low-energy window is a guaranteed mistake waiting to happen.
If a purchase gives you a two-hour dopamine hit and a week of guilt, put a delay between the click and the checkout. A 24-hour basket rule does more than any budgeting spreadsheet ever will.
If you’re managing someone who might be dealing with this on their own:
You don’t need to become their financial advisor. But you do need to understand that financial stress can become a workplace issue, and another layer of shame for a neurodivergent team member to deal with..
That means:
Making it genuinely safe to ask for flexibility around pay dates, benefits, or an advance, without it being treated as a red flag on someone’s file.
Knowing that lateness, distraction, or a missed deadline might have a root cause that has nothing to do with commitment.
Pointing people toward practical support that exists, Access to Work can fund things like coaching and organisational support for employees with ADHD, and most managers have never mentioned it exists.
Building the kind of psychologically safe environment where someone could actually tell you they’re struggling, before it turns into a performance issue you’re dealing with reactively.
As with so much to do with ADHD, the odds can sometimes feel stacked against us – but there’s always help and there’s always hope. This isn’t something that will just go away if you ignore it for long enough – believe me, I’ve tried. But it definitely is something that, again: like much of the ADHD experience, can be reasoned with, tamed and brought fully under control with the right support.